last night, as i came through the front gates, amidst the softly falling snow, i turned towards the front lawn, extended my chest to the skies, and fell backwards down through the powdery snow. several cars went by as i laid down for a few minutes, breathing in and out and seeing my breath. as the coldness seeped in, i moved my arms and my legs, the workings of an angel's image carved by limbs into the canvas of snow. because now...now, the rains return.

something old, something new
something borrowed, something blue
and a silver sixpence in her shoe.

DID YOU KNOW...this is the complete saying in its entirety, and now i know where it has come from. a sixpence is a coin that was minted in britain from 1551 to 1967 (it was made of silver and worth six pennies). so this wedding tradition is definitely english, and many sources say that it began in the victorian era.

AND DID YOU ALSO KNOW...each item in this poem represents a good-luck token for the bride. if she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.

something old
symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past...
something new
means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead
something borrowed
is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. the borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family.

...as for the colorful item, blue has been connected to weddings for centuries. in ancient rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity.
christianity has long dressed the virgin mary in blue, so purity was associated with the color.
before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns, as evidenced in proverbs like, marry in blue, lover be true.

and finally...
a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe represents wealth and financial security. it may date back to a scottish custom of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck. for optimum fortune, the sixpence should be in the left shoe. these days, a dime or a copper penny is sometimes substituted, and many companies sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.

...now we know!

i took a walk in my neighbourhood today. the air was crisp, remnant from the snowstorm that blanketed the city with about eight inches of snow yesterday and this morning. the cars were missing, but the people were out. they were out, and many of them were smiling, walking on the crunching snow. many things may divide vancouver, but the snow binds us all in its freshness and tranquility, for some, and the inconvenience it offers for others.

are you half empty or half full?

the truth is ...
'we could spend the rest of our life saying that we love such a person or thing, when the truth is we are merely suffering because instead of accepting love's strength, we are trying to diminish it so that it fits in the world in which we imagine we live.'


~coelho~

here a few thoughts on the topic of the karaoke...
I. pitch matters.
enthusiasm doesn't compensate for lack of pitch. drinking more doesn't either. neither does having a lot of friends screaming with you. unless it's a very forgiving crowd, pitch matters...
II. know your limits.
even if you sing well, not all songs are for you.
III. know your role.
not everyone should be on stage. some people were meant to be in the audience having a good time.

last but not least ... throw in the towel, and have a great time!

there's a big part of modeling that i love - the fact that when i am on a platform in the middle of a room surrounded by a bunch of people i don't know, i am concentrating on the pose, perhaps counting in my head the seconds and minutes before the pose breaks, and the other part of my brain is evaluating my life as the seconds have passed by.

what did i do today ... yesterday ... the day before ... a week ago, that i liked?
did i make a decision that is moving me towards the right direction?
do i know what that direction is? -
all the bits seem to add up, metaphorically speaking of course, and all the pieces seem to come together. the strange but wonderous gift of being so still is that all of a sudden, the whirlpool of thoughts and decisions that fly around me like a freakin' tornado sit still with me oh so still... and i can pluck them out, one by one, and place them where they should be, the bits of the puzzle that make up me.